20 of the best Only Fools And Horses one-liners

20 of the best Only Fools And Horses one-liners

20 of the best Only Fools And Horses one-liners

Here's a list of our favorite Only Fools and Horses one-liners

Enjoy !!

1. God knows how you’ve got the courage to walk down dark alleys wearing all that gold. When they see you coming you must look like a mugger’s pension scheme. RODNEY to DEL

2. One day they might make a musical about the Trotter family. Then, as a sequel, they could do Schindler’s List on ice. RODNEY

3. Give my love to Marlene... Everyone else used to. SLATER to BOYCIE

4. Del: The French have a word for people like me. Rodney: Yeah, the English have a couple of good ’uns an’ all.

5. As Macbeth said to Hamlet in A Midsummer Night’s Dream, “We’ve been done up like a couple of kippers”. DEL

6. What's the name of that bloke who invented the Dyson vacuum cleaner? TRIGGER

7. I’ve got this horrible feeling. If there is such a thing as reincarnation, knowing my luck, I’ll come back as me. RODNEY

8. Del: We had Denzil in goal, we had Monkey-Harris left back, we had... camaraderie. Trigger: Was that the Italian boy?

9. Would any self-respecting axe murderer pop upstairs for 40 winks and leave his chopper on the sideboard? DEL

10. I’ve just found out my wife has been lying to me. Every morning she says she’s gonna leave me and when I come home, she’s still there. DENZIL

11. Look at Grandad. His brain went years ago, now his legs have gone. There’s only the middle bit of him left. DEL

12. He died a couple of years before I was born. TRIGGER on his dad

13. Do you remember your cousin Audrey? I went to stay with her and her husband Kevin for a year. One day he sent me down to Sainsbury’s with a shopping list. When I got back,  they’d emigrated. ALBERT

14. I don't know what you’re worried about. I’ve been eating British beef all my life. TRIGGER

15. Asking a Trotter if he knows anything about chandeliers is like asking Mr Kipling if he knows anything about cakes. DEL

16. Did you know, 500 years ago this was a green and peaceful area? The old Earl of Peckham had a castle where the Kwik-Fit exhaust centre now stands.

Flaxen-haired maidens used to dance round the village maypole of an evening. And then one fateful medieval day, the Trotter clan arrived in a stolen Zephyr.
Before you knew it, the flaxen-haired maiden was up the spout, the old Earl had been sold some hooky armour and someone nicked the maypole. BOYCIE

17. I’ve always wanted to go to Benidorm. Where is it? GRANDAD

18. ’Ere Boyce. This car’s a GTI. If you rearrange the letters, you’ve got yourself a personalised number plate. RODNEY

19. I’m a Ming fan myself. He made some wonderful stuff, that Ming. Pity he had to go and die when he did. DEL

20. Dear old grandad, bless him. He was about as useful as a pair of sunglasses on a bloke with one ear. DEL